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Man, and I thought that AT&T sucked. Verizon Wireless totally sucks.

After enjoying an iPhone for 2 years but crappy service from AT&T, I decide to switch over to Verizon.  I bought their Android, which after using an iPhone, makes you realize how much the Android sucks.  After months of rumors, I finally get the opportunity to get an iPhone through Verizon.  Verizon Wireless even sends me an email saying that existing customers can order the iPhone at 3am on February 3, 2011.   They even sent me a reminder.

Verizon wireless sucks

So, I set my alarm clock at 2:45 am, boot up the computer and go to buy the iPhone.  This is the screen I get:

Verizon wireless sucks

I click the [Start My Order] button and get an error message, “Sorry, an error has occured.  We’re working on getting this fixed as soon as we can.  (Please try again).”  By the way, Verizon Wireless sucks at spelling.  Occurred has two c’s and two r’s.

Verizon sucks

I have clicked the Please try again link about 250 times today.  I have called Verizon Wireless 10 times today.  For over 14 hours, I have been trying to order the iPhone.  Every time I call, they give direct me to a different department.  One time, they sent me to the Internet Sales department, which claimed that they are not familiar with the website.  Why the hell would they call themselves the “Internet Sales” department if they are not familiar with the website?  Man, Verizon sucks.  By the way, they gave me half a dozen 800 and 866 phone numbers to call in case I get disconnected, because I got disconnected several times.  One time that I called that 800 number, it was a sex line.

Finally, at 5 pm, I talk to this woman who solved the riddle.  No error ever occurred with the website.  I simply wasn’t eligible.  Turns out that you cannot add a new line and buy the iPhone.  Turns out you cannot pay the full price and throw away your crappy-assed android and trade up to an iPhone.  Turns out that the only people who are eligible to pre-order the iPhone are those who have had their existing Verizon phone for two years and are eligible for an upgrade.

So, why the hell didn’t they mention that in their marketing material and direct e-mail?  Why, when they sent me the reminder that I could buy the iPhone at 3 am on Feb 3 that I was not eligible or that only people with upgrades are eligible.  Why, when I logged into my account and put the iPhone in my shopping cart and pressed the [Start my order] button, it didn’t tell me that I was not eligible?  Their whole system is screwed up from the promotions to the emails to their website to all the people that I spoke to today between 8am this morning and 5pm this morning.

What a bunch of jackasses.  Man, Verizon Wireless really sucks.